The nastiest political debates

by Half-Lady Lisa

October 27, 2016

Peter: I couldn’t sleep all night since after watching the presidential debates. The debates make me so horny all the time.

Brian: I couldn’t understand why the political debates make you so horny like that?

Peter: Well, they don’t cover much on the politics but most are such as ‘the locker room talk’ or whatever people want to call, sexual allegations, sexual experience with married women, grab and grope and many other nasty stories. Yet, all the girls and mistresses are invited to the debates.

Brian: During the debates, I heard loud noise, exchanging racy words with quick mouths from TV but didn’t pay much attention. It seems like there are two women on the debate, aren’t they?

Peter: No, there are one man and one woman, between Mr. Trump and Mrs. Clinton. From the first debate, Mr. Trump blames Mrs. Clinton for her over preparation.

Brian: How Mrs. Clinton prepares for her debate?

Peter: Don’t you see how shiny on her face. She shows up on the stage with a very shiny facial youth skin because she knows that Mr. Trump likes to insult women based upon their looks. He likes to call women—“Miss Piggy” and score them from 1-10…

Brian: Mr. Trump should not call Mrs. Clinton that way, and how much he gives her the score?

Peter: Oh! No! No! I mean, he calls other women, not her. That’s why Mr. Trump is really angry at her because he can’t insult her shiny youth skin, yet he has to give her 10 out of 10 over her well preparation on her face. His campaign workers are unable to figure out how many needles Mrs. Clinton’s dermatologist puts on her face but there are gossips that it will definitely last for three debates…

Brian: The Botox?

Peter: No—her swelling face needs months to recover. Now comes to the real political policies. Mr. Trump says that he will help African-America community…

Brian: Wait a minute. Are you sure? I have never seen Mr. Trump willingly to visit Black community, shaking hands with them and hugging them.

Peter: I’m sure I’m not wrong with that. He also says that not only will he help Black people, but he also wants to help them like no any politician has done before.

Brian: Really? But how?

Peter: Mr. Trump will help all African-Americans to move out from his neighborhood quickly!

Brian: What’s about the national security issue?

Peter: Mr. Trump will go to war on terror and he’s really aggressive when he says that.

Brian: I haven’t known that Mr. Trump is also good at military.

Peter: He’s quite good. At the young age, his father sent him to military school …

Brian: To learn about military strategy?

Peter: No—to reform his behavior because his father couldn’t handle this kid anymore and that might be the reason that he confidently says that he knows the ISIS more than the General. Moreover, he has practiced fighting since the day one he was on his campaign…

Brian: He fights with terrorists?

Peter: No! He fights with his own Republican Party such as John McCain, Paul Ryan and other Republicans until they begin to walk away from him one by one.

Brian: I guess that Mr. Trump must win them all so that’s why he is very confident to fight with ISIS…

Peter: No, he never wins the fights once. But he tells all American troops not to be serious about the fighting result because he has a long record in claiming himself the debates’ winner, while the reality he is the loser. In general speaking, you don’t have to win but just say that you win, to fulfill your fantasy.

Brian: Now I am very worried that if he becomes the President, will he have enough people to work with him?

Peter: Don’t worry about that. He gives an interview on the MSNBC that he is confident that if he becomes the President, all the Republican Party who have walked away from him will definitely come back for him…

Brian: They will come back to help Mr. Trump work in the office?

Peter: I guess not, but they come back to help Mr. Trump pack his stuffs and move out from the office quickly! I heard that Paul Ryan now collects moving boxes on the back of the White House and John McCain even uses his personal credit card book a moving van…

Brian: To send Mr. Trump back home?

Peter: No! But, to send him to Middle East to fight with terrorists alone as he says that he is better than the General.

Brian: What’s about the second debate?

Peter: The second debate’s even nastier, when Mrs. Clinton complains that Mr. Trump invades her personal space. While she is speaking, Mr. Trump often walks around closely just a few feet behind her.

Brian: Why does Mr. Trump have to walk too close to her behind like that?

Peter: Once he revealed on the secret Hollywood sex tape which he called it the ‘locker room talk’ that he had tried in the past to have sex with married women but unsuccessful yet so he wants to finish his dream with Mrs. Clinton, even though she isn’t his first choice. Until Mrs. Clinton complains that he invades her personal space. Mr. Trump quickly disputes that as he had experiences hooking up with many women in the past, he knows the definition of the ‘personal space’, means that a short distance he can use his short trump nudge her behind. But standing a few feet away from her is still out of his reach so she should not scream too early.

Brian: I heard that Mr. Trump will totally ban all the Muslims come in the country until he can figure out what is going on with them.

Peter: Right! But I just talk to the Muslim community and they say that Mr. Trump should not be worried about them because they are fine. But the person that Mr. Trump should be worried very much is himself because they now can’t figure out what is going on with him. Look—if you are born in a poor family, struggling very hard in your life to earn incomes, and being insulted by other people the entire life, with the unfair life you have it makes sense for people to understand why you choose to be radical. But his case is opposite. Mr. Trump is born in a gold well—whatever he wants, he has never struggled to earn it. He’s also famous—while millions of kids have struggled utmost in their lives to be on TV, still the opportunity never happens in their lives. Many men are struggling to have a girlfriend, they don’t need to dream about the beautiful one, only the one with a decent look, still hard to find. But for Mr. Trump, finding beautiful women seems to be very easy while he doesn’t even need to be a good-looking man. Even at his older age, he still has a young, beautiful wife. Every man in this World wants to have all the things he has but they never have. That’s why people can’t figure out what is going on with him. Why does a person who has everything in his life, in stead of showing his sympathy to others, he chooses to be radical no difference from ISIS, sabotage his own party, insult even disability? International countries around the world are now banned Mr. Trump enters their countries until they can figure out what is going on with him. Like Mr. Trump, have you ever thought that sometimes some GOP supporters are also difficult to understand?

Brian: Why do you say that?

Peter: Think—there are many Miss Beauty Queens complain that Mr. Trump likes to walk on the backstage of the beauty contests while the Miss Beauty Queens are changing and some are half naked. More than that he greets some of them with kisses on the lips, GOP supporters try to defend his acts but they ban transgenders to use the restroom, just going to pee. They see transgenders are more dangerous than Mr. Trump. One woman, in another incident, even describes that his hands all over the places on her body like a hungry octopus.

Brian: So, Mr. Trump now can’t go to the backstage of the beauty contest…

Peter: Yes, he still can but before that he needs to do a few things. First, he needs to find a doctor for his hormone therapy like other transgenders do. Next, he needs to do a complete physical transformation to be a woman. Then he needs to make a public announcement that now he lives as a fulltime woman and change his male name to a female name such as Donna Trump.

Brian: I have heard that Mr. Trump will build a border wall to stop immigrants from crossing the border.

Peter: Exactly, he will build the wall but that isn’t the main reason he build the wall. As he has put his name on every thing such as Trump Tower, Trump airline, Trump steak, Trump water, Trump wine,…, except one category, Trump Wall isn’t yet. It’s gonna be a big wall—he said, with high technology above and underground and a big sign which can be viewed from satellite—‘The Great Wall of Donald Trump’

Brian: Mr. Trump owns many building. If there is no Mexican come to the country, who will clean floors for him?

Peter: Don’t worry. Now people around him do the cleaning job for him. I hear they complain that only cleaning off the mess and dirt that leak out from his mouth take tremendous amount of time already. If he becomes the President, he will be like a big kid run around the White House for these people to catch him—how fun it is? Instead these people have jobs to do so each of them do their jobs to move forward, they can’t do anything, except cleaning his mess, defending him, sustaining him up and nursing him like a baby spend all the time they have.

Brian: I see him look tough and aggressive; he might be a strong leader?

Peter: Mr. Trump is a brilliant leader. He creates many projects; all are his own ideas. During the time in crisis, he is only the person who knows first hand so he chooses to get away from his projects at the right time and left all the lenders, business partners, and people who work with him like architects, dishwashers,… dies on his ideas, yet he will take that as a credit to himself as a smart businessman. Captain Titanic let his passengers survive and he dies on the Titanic even though the mistake isn’t his fault. Aung San Suu Kyi isn’t afraid to be in jail for decades for what she believes. Imagine, if an enemy sends nuclear weapon to the country, Mr. Trump and his family will get on the getaway plane and flee right on time but left all Americans to die. And he will not feel guilty about but take that as a credit to himself as a brilliant President.

Brian: I hear so far only negative things. Let change the subject to education, he may have good thing for our kids’ future.

Peter: Mr. Trump is the educational pioneer…

Brian: Oh! Good to hear that!

Peter: He owns Trump University which is now on the investigation for possibility of fraud.

Brian: What has he pioneered in his education?

Peter: He is the politician in this generation who strongly denies to believe scientists about the climate change so he has never done the research about it. But he has spent a lot of time, for many years to do the researches in other subjects such as ‘President Obama’s birth place’ which he believes that it’s so important for the World to know. He also plans to address this issue at the UN when he is the President, until President Obama suggests him to stop the research. He says on TV one day with shed tears that he suddenly has done his research and knowing that President Obama is actually born in the US, period!

Brian: But I still believe that the businessman like him may help economy growth.

Peter: Mr. Trump is a great economist. His economic plan includes the massive tax cut. Only Government is still skeptical how does his plan work? As Mr. Trump has paid zero tax for almost two decades, how to cut tax below zero? However, Mr. Trump suggests that his idea can be possible. He will help all Americans to file for bankruptcy easier, over and over, as many times as they can so all Americans will pay zero tax like him and America will definitely be great again!

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