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The distances of genders


February 6, 2014

Each person, no matter which gender, is composed of different numbers of masculinity and femininity. By bringing all genders line up together, the left end is the most feminine gender, the right end of the line is the most masculine gender and others, such as homosexual and transgender, are in the between, then…

The distance between a man and a woman, when male is minus female, M - F will equal to some numbers.

While the distance between a gay male couple, GM1 – GM2 will equal to zero (or at a very short distance).


So how can we use this equation to explain the relationship of each gender?

A woman, I call her in this story ‘U’, is married to a man and she is just about to become a mother. U is a dominatrix type of woman, having an aggressive behavior. Her husband, in contrast, has a very soft and submissive behavior. By considering to only the rule of sexual domination fantasy, this couple should be a perfect match. However, in her mind, U never loves wholeheartedly her husband but her aggressive behavior attracts submissive men like her husband to get involved in the relationship. U, however in her heart, loves another man whose his behavior is more masculine than her husband. This is because the distance between her and her husband is too short—and that makes her feel less feminine. But the distance between her and the masculine man gives her the same distance of a regular man and woman which makes her feel like a regular, feminine woman, rather than a dominatrix. In this case, U’s domination is only her regular behavior and it has nothing to do with her sexual fantasy. Therefore, sexual fantasy alone can not be used to match a couple, but the distance between genders can do more precisely.

Have you ever loved someone in the past, even though the person you love already gets married, you never forget that person? Have you ever asked yourself ‘why’ that person can fill all the rooms in your heart while your wife never gets one or just a small closet? Is this because the person you never stop loving is the most beautiful/handsome person in the world?—it isn’t necessary, right? Look at celebrity couples, many of them are still good-looking—so?—they still break up. You see a young and good-looking celebrity on magazines; you think if you have a chance to get marry with the celebrity you will love him/her forever. However, if the marriage dream can be possible one day, intact love might not be as you thought.

Sexual desire is not love. Sexual desire gives you excitement but love doesn’t. Love gives you the impression. When you have sex with the same partner for a long period of time, and especially when both get older, the excitement can go less until disappeared, then you want to find a new, younger person to make you more excited. So what creates an impression which then gives you an intact love?

Think like you are searching for a piece of art to put in your bedroom. Each person is a piece of art. The way that person moves, walks, talks, acts, dresses, his/her smell, speaks a language and accent (like White has Black accent or White guy acts like Black guy), races such as Asian guys normally looks more feminine than Black guys, genders, for example transgender women have more masculine smell than regular female, etc, all of these are made up of a person which give the person a certain level of masculinity and femininity, different from others. Each level of masculinity and femininity of each person by comparing to you will give a certain distance. A perfect partner, who gives a perfect distance, tells you where you are on the line and your gender. A good look can be gone with age; the excitement becomes boring when having the same sexual activity with the same person repeatedly. But a certain level of masculinity and femininity of a person still remains so the distance between you and the person is never changed. Thousands of times you look at that person, the impression is never gone. And that is why you still never forget that person.

Many years ago I traveled to another city and I met with a guy. When we went out together, he acted masculine. But when we came back inside my hotel room, he seemed to be a different person. I didn’t know what was going on with him but he acted girly, and sometimes he acted innocent like a young kid. I asked him why he had to act like a girl. He told me that every woman he dated in the past really like him acting like this.

There are many people who want the normal distance between male and female genders to be a little bit shorter. In an example, often seen teen girls are crazy male singers or boy bands who are young, sweet, having beautiful face and slim body, rather than an aggressive, big muscle guy. Many straight men also want to have their relationship with women in a shorter distance such as some men like a transgender-woman which the distance is a little bit shorter than a regular male and female’s distance. Some may like transvestite, drag queen, cross dresser, etc. which give a shorter distance than passable transgender.

The distance of genders can be adjust once or many times at different ages in your life. Like a spring, you stretch it to the full length then release, it will shrink to a normal length. If the distance of genders acts the same way as a spring, what is your normal distance and how much does your distance need to be shrunk?

In the past, when genders education was superficially, society grouped people basically based upon sexes (only male and female). The distance between male and female genders was set in the maximum length. To have a love relationship, everyone was cast to the same distance, and only one option was that every man had to marry a woman. It didn’t mean that there were no gender in the between such as gay and lesbian and transgender, but they didn’t come out yet so there was no example for inspiration to others. So genders in the between had to act as heterosexuals. Therefore the maximum distance of the past generation wasn’t necessary to be the right distance for everyone.

Later the genders in the between begin to come out more and more variety. Without them, the maximum distance of genders (between male and female of the past generation) can’t be adjusted easily into different lengths. Each gender in the between is set to divide male and female’s gender distance into parts. Imagine, in thousands of years ago, in the time we didn’t have the genders in the between, to shorten the distance, a heterosexual man had to make a long U-turn backward all in one time, without any resting place in the between. By doing that, a married man who came out in public that he wanted to have sex with other men would be considered public shocked, perverse and unacceptable, even with bi-sexual they were still unacceptable to fulfill their fantasy.

In this generation, for a person to adjust the distance into a normal length is easier, yet doesn’t cause public shock. For example, a heterosexual man has sexual interest in having sex with women then a passable transgender appears to help him make an easy short U-turn. If you still move back and forth within a short distance such as between woman and transgender, it means that you are not yet to settle yourself at the right distance. You are still unable to find your normal distance. Until the interest in one gender goes less in the same time the interest in another gender rises up, you begin to settle at the right distance. It normally takes a certain time for you to move from one to another gender. Some men feel that they want to go further than a transgerder, to transvestile, to crossdresser, etc. You will stop your U-turn until you find the right distance. You may be curious that why the distance of genders has to be shortened, instead of extending longer. This is because woman (and man) is set at the end of the line, no more gender after man and woman. If one day there are aliens from another planet queue the line after man and woman, some may not want to make a U-turn but choose to move straight forward. The more there are genders in the between, the easier in making a U-turn to the homosexual area. This doesn’t mean that everyone has to keep moving back to become homosexual. Some people feel comfortable to settle at a short U-turn, like a man changes from having sex with a woman to a transwoman or a woman changes from having sex with a man to a transman. However, when a man changes his sexual interest in having sex with a woman to transgender, to transvestite, until finally having sex with a (whether masculine or feminine) man, and at each gender he takes a certain time to settle himself before move to the next gender, he will lose completely the interest in having sex with women—this is called gender change. Because he has gone too far, second round U-turn may not be possible (or a big task). He is now attractive to masculine more than feminine. Therefore, he will become a ‘self-made gay’ man, (a 'self-made gay' man means you are not natural born to be gay but you achieve it by yourself.)

In my prediction, in the future, the distance of genders (between man and woman) will be shorter and shorter every generation. This is because, first, young generations want to choose the right distance for themselves, rather than society set the rule for them that a man has only one choice in his life to marry with only a woman, and vice versa. Secondly, there will be more genders are created for great selections. The distances between each gender are divided shorter and shorter than the past, resulting in helping people making a smooth transition from one to another gender. Finally, genders will be infinity, density until the distance between male and female genders becomes a singular point.

The example of new genders can be possibly created.

A straight man may choose to do sex-changed operation to have a vagina while maintaining his masculine appearance. As I spend time with many men, some men are good to have a vagina. This is not because they have erectile dysfunction or a toothpick penis but they just don’t want to use it. Some men don’t want to penetrate but they are ejaculated by being penetrated. However, they don’t want to give up their masculine appearances to look like a woman and they don’t want to be a transgender woman. To have a vagina is not based upon having a female appearance; some transgenders love being a top while some men love being bottom. To have a vagina, it should be based upon the sexual positions. On the other hand, some women may want to have a penis while still maintaining female appearance; this is different from being a transman.

Men who have man-boobs tell me that they want to have big breasts, also they love wearing bras. They don’t want to have a vagina or don’t want to look like a woman but they just want to do only breast implants. This is because they have sensitive feeling around nipples. On the other hand, one of my female friends who has big natural breasts tells me that she wants to remove her breasts because they make her uncomfortable to move.

The distances of genders I discuss above are to look at a big picture. In a small area, within a gender, for example in amongst heterosexual male gender, each man is set at different distances from each other. This can be often seen such as in amongst gangsters—one is more masculine than another one and one respects another one as a leader of the group but only they are not interested in sexual relationship among them. However, like in the gangsters, for some groups of heterosexual male, respecting each other can arouse sexual fantasy—how does it happen? When one man admires another man’s masculinity, such as he has a bigger and stronger body, and the weaker man respects the stronger man as a leader; by doing that, the weaker man sets himself in the position of being submissive both physic and mind. The admiration and being accepted as a leader of the group spread the slightly distance between them to be wider. Then the stronger man sees the weaker man as a ‘girl’. Finally, sexual fantasy appears to be clear when one acts as a submissive guy, and allows the stronger one dominate him as a master. As both are not gay men, they still love women but this sexual act is generated only occasionally. It is not their sexual instincts but being aroused once in a while. This is called—‘man on man’ (when one man is invited to get on the back of another man.)

Finally, it comes to a question.

Miss A is a tough police woman. Her appearance is more masculine than average woman, having a short military haircut and often dresses in men clothes.

Mr. B is a young Asian man. He appears as a feminine man, having smooth body, a long silky hair, feminine face, and feminine clothes. He works as a makeup artist.

Mr. C is a professional body builder. He is a tough guy and tougher than average man, having aggressive look, and masculine voice.

If Miss A and Mr. B get married together, the law of society defines them as heterosexual couple because Miss A is a female and Mr. B is a male. However, regarding to their distance, it is much shorter than average male and female’s distance. So, can this couple be considered as a gay couple?

On the other hand, if Mr. B gets marry with Mr. C, by the law, they are considered a gay couple. However, their distance of gender has the same value as a normal heterosexual couple’s. Can this couple be considered as a heterosexual couple?

You think what should be the right method to define heterosexual and homosexual couples?




Cartoon story—"The distance of a couple"


David and Tony work together in a company. They are going on vacation together to Miami.

Tony: Once a year I will have a chance like this to get away from my wife. I really hope we would meet many women over there.

David: Women make me so sick.

Tony: I’m so surprised to hear that from you. Normally you love women.

David: The longer I live with my wife, the more I don’t understand her.

Tony: I thought you love each other very much because every time I see you everywhere, I also see your wife.

David: That’s the problem! Every time I get out of my house, my wife has to spy me. When I ask her that why she has to follow me everywhere, she tells me that in this generation every husband needs to carry a GPS, to direct him home on time, otherwise I often get lost into a wrong apartment.

Tony: It isn’t a problem at all. You can save money to buy GPS and I think she would do a good job.

David: I don’t mind to pay for one but only my wife doesn’t trust the device. Here is another problem. Last week I played with a young kid at a playground. She told me that that kid looked like me. Now I can’t talk to any kid in the neighbor because in her eyes, all the kids look very much like me. That the reason I need to have mustache, so I can distinct myself from a kid.

Tony: She may be suspicious that you might have a second job by selling sperms.

David: I like going out drinking with a guy my friend. When I come home late night, she often checks my wallet.

Tony: she may want to know that you may hide girls’ phone numbers in your wallet.

David: No, she doesn't search for phone numbers. She counts the cash left in my wallet. If I spend that night ten or twenty bucks, I will tell the truth that I drink with a guy my friend. If the cash lost a couple hundred dollars, she thinks I must drink with an opposite gender.

Tony: You go on vacation like this your wife may miss you a lot. She supposes to spy you to Miami or call you all day.

David: Now I don’t have that problem anymore. I just find a way to solve this problem.

Tony: Don’t tell me that you are going to divorce.

David: No, I will never file for a divorce. And she has to trust me more, like she never did before.

Tony: How do you do to solve this problem?

David: I eat her! Now we will go everywhere together.







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