Flat balls

by Half-Lady Lisa

January 21, 2015

Amy and Jennifer join Sunday crochet group together.

Amy: Did you watch Sunday football? My husband told me that Patriots were caught up cheating the Colts by deflating the ball used in the game to help their players easier in catching the ball.

Jennifer: I have followed the news. But in the end, you know--this allegation turns out to be a joke.

Amy: Why is that?

Jennifer: Fans are misunderstood. Actually, they don’t talk about football but the Patriots’ players’ balls—I mean their testicles’ sizes. Every time they play football, you can observe at their crotches; everyone has flat crotch. Especially Tom Brady, not only he has flat crotch, he also has a small cloth cover his crotch all the time so fans see nothing. Rob Gronkowski—I don’t see much the shape of his balls but his crack is often revealed during the games. Julian Edelman also has flat crotches. Except Danny Amendola’s crotch, it looks bigger than anyone but still be considered flat. Patriots’ owner and their coach’s crotches are now flatter than anyone in the team.

Amy: How can their crotches be deflated?

Jennifer: It normally can be happened by cold temperature which shrinks the sizes of their balls.

Amy: I see… it makes sense. Don’t play balls during winter but stay warm. Can you tell me, why did having small balls help their performance better?

Jennifer: Having small balls help them ran faster than the one who has bigger balls. Bigger balls’ sizes affect the movement of their legs.

Amy: That’s why I love my husband very much. He is the one who has very big balls.

Jennifer: Why?

Amy: Because every time I yell angrily at him, he can’t run away fast. You think what can they do to prevent this to happen again in the upcoming Super Bowl Game?

Jennifer: Just put more stuffs around the crotch area.

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